Monday, February 28, 2005

The Bell Tolls For Cobra Mom

The first bells are believed to have been cast in China some 4000
years ago.  They were used as a musical instrument  by common men.
Over time the Chinese used them to show a hierarchy of power.
The emperor could have 4 bells on his palace.  A duke or prince
3 bells on his residence and so on.

Bells were rung to tell time, and also rung at the bed of a person
dying to ward of evil spirits.
Bells were used on ships to warn other vessels of their approach
during fog.   They also signaled the changing of hands upon a ship.

Our own Liberty Bell, fire engine bells, dinner bells, cow bells,
musical bells, telephone bells.
'Teacher says, everytime a bell rings and angel gets it's wings'
(from It's a Wonderful Life)
Hells Bells - Thank you AC/DC  (actually Hells Bells is an exclamation
of surprise in English slang )

That rings a bell. !!

In my long ago school days I recall being....
'Saved By The Bell', I'm sure you do too.  :))

Bells were rung to announce a birth or a death.

From the famous passage by John Donne (1573-1631).
Send Not To Know for Whom the Bell Tolls: It Tolls for Thee
Meditation 17, from Devotions Upon Emergent Occasions,  written - 1624.

No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the
continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a
manor of thy friend’s or of thine own were: any man’s death diminishes me,
because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to
know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today I would toll a bell for Patricia Dwigins.     Pat passed yesterday
morning.    She was the founder of the military support group OPMALE ~ STAR.   Operation Make A Life Enriched ~ Saying Thanks and Remembering.

Pat started OPMALE over 10 years ago when her grandson asked her to
send some care packages to his fellow shipmates who were not getting mail.
She was tireless in her effort to support 'her kids'.
We might never know what sunshine, smiles, warmed hearts, and tears this
wonderful lady brought to OUR military.   We might not know but I am certain
that God does.   In fact I bet He is still going over all the good.

OPMALE STAR will go on.   There are many who worked along side of Pat
to make this a year long support effort.
I've been with OPMALE for over 2 years and was quite proud when she
asked me to come on the team as the Air Force support person.

               Pat signed her mail....     'Luvs ya - Cobra Mom'

We will miss this dear sweet lady and there is no doubt the world
is diminished by her loss.


~ring~    ~ring~    ~ring~    ~ring~    ~ring~   ~ring~






Sunday, February 27, 2005

Aroma --- Therapy --- Personal

"Aromatherapy" is a term coined by French chemist René Maurice
Gattefossé
in the 1920's to describe the practice of using essential oils taken
from plants,
flowers, roots, seeds, etc., in healing.

Lord knows what marketing genius we have to thank for introducing the
word
into mainstream advertising.

I was once lured into buying a bottle of Palmolive® Aromatherapydishwashing soap.  It said, “Anti-Stress – soothing and relaxing aroma with essences of Lavender and Ylang Ylang”.
I never did purchase a second bottle of dishwashing soap.Actually I’d gotten somewhat of a handle on life stress thanks to a long ago read book, “The Miracle of Mindfulness” by Thich Nhat Hanh. (I’ll save that for another day, my AF friends will know that one becauseit’s something I have posted more than once)
Just saying the word ‘aroma’ and my brain is off to recall someof my favorite scents.     I’ll tell you some mine, and then you think of your personal favorites….
Grandpa’s wood shop.

Books and magazines – old and new

The fresh cut bottom off of a Christmas tree

CLEAN babies

Fall leaves

Baking my Grandma Rothacker’s Cut Out Cookies(email me for the recipe, they are the BEST)

Tinker’s Creek – local park in Bedford Ohio


To quote Helen Keller ( 1880-1968 )“Smell is a potent wizard which transports us across time and all the years we have lived.”


Saturday, February 26, 2005

Love and Gratitude

I came upon the work of Japanese researcher,  Dr Masaru Emoto while
reading about the movie, What the Bleep Do We Know ?.

Please check out this link below

http://www.whatthebleep.com/crystals/

His photographs are quite amazing.   The input of the observation
changes the molecular formation of water cystals.

Considering that our bodies are 75% water ~ imagine ~ the connection
to our physical bodies if we hold a higher vibration of love for ourselves
and to others.
In Dr Emoto's photographs 'You make me sick' looks like sewage water,
while the photograph of of 'love and gratitude' is a shimmering,
beautiful crystal.

Which would you prefer to reflect your internal self ?

Love and gratitude.

Friday, February 25, 2005

U.S. Air Force - Core Values



My son Vincent joined the Air Force in the summer of 2002, he was 18.He entered under what is known as the DEP – delayed enlistment program.

On the night of October 16th his Step-Dad and I left him at a local hotel where he was to spend the night with some other recruits before heading out as a small group the following morning.  The AF does this to ensure all
recruits will be in one place to leave in the AM.


I recall having a restless night sleep that night.   As a Mother I knew life with
my son would never be the same.   I was filled with pride as his life choice was following in the Air Force footsteps of family before him.
My Dad served in the 50’s.    Vince’s Step-Dad, Michael and Michael’s younger brother Mark also served.    My Father-in-law retired as a Chief Master Sergeant, achieving the highest rank of enlisted personnel.

The morning of October 17 I was walking my youngest son Kevin out the door to wait for the school bus.   
I stepped outside and immediately looked up to the sky.
There to my right was a huge V formed from jet contrails.
It was my sign from God that my son, Vincent would be watched over.



The week after Vince left home I was going through a bag of papers that the
recruiter had given him.   In there was a plastic card about the size of a credit card. It has the Air Force wings and simply says:











U.S. Air Force   Core Values





Integrity First       Service Before Self     Excellence in All We Do











I set that up beside my computer the day I found it.   
The words became ingrained in my head.    I knew that these were the values that my son would now be living by.
I was pretty certain that these values were not always so specifically stated and I did a web search to find a history on the Core Values.








The Air Force Core Values initiative has a history—a history that goes back at least 25 years, and some people argue that it goes back to the late 1950's.  Although it was not until January of 1995 that the Air Force officially embraced the specific formulation we have today¾
Integrity first, Service before self, and Excellence in all we do.








(http://www.usafa.af.mil/core-value/gurus/)










In January of 2003 Vince was stationed for tech training in Mississippi.
On a weekly call home we were talking about something that had happened
in one of his classes.    Whatever the topic was escapes my mind now, but in
my response to him I rattled off the
U.S.Core Values…..

Integrity First       Service Before Self     Excellence in All We Do


Vince let out a HUGE ----   “WOW Mom”, he was shocked to say the least that I knew the Core Values.   I explained to him about the card beside my computer and I said to him, ‘not a bad set of values for us all to embrace’.


Integrity First       Service Before Self     Excellence in All We Do












































Thursday, February 24, 2005

Namaste`

Naaa - maaa- stay


If you are old enough, you will recall a TV show from the early 70's called
Kung Fu.    David Carradine played the 'Kung Fu' guy. 

Usually one or more times we would see him clasp his hands together,
as if in prayer, and draw them to his chest and bow.   It was a greeting of
hello or goodbye.   I don't quite recall ever hearing him say the word, namaste`,
but think of the Kung Fu guy to envision the greeting.

Namaste` is a Hindu expression, it's Sanksrit meaning is, I bow to thee.

I once read an wonderful example of the simplicity of the greeting, it went like this.
Imagine a speaker with a full  audience.   That speaker could walk around
to every single person and shake their hand to tell them hello.    Another speaker
with a full audience could bow and do the namaste` greeting and the entire audience would respond in kind, the meaning would be the same.

Just yesterday I came across this explanation by Ram Dass.


"I honor the place in you in which the entire universe dwells. I honor the place in you which is of love, of truth, of light, and of peace. When you are in that place in you, and I am in that place in me, we are one."

There is one dear net friend of mine who knows this word well.   It's how I often
end the email messages that I send to him. 

Namaste`






Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Out With The Yuck - Yucks

My youngest child, Kevin is now 8 years old and in second grade.   In 2002 he
started kindergarten.   He is a lively outgoing sort who was fearless of starting  school. 
He immediately loved the teacher and interacting with other kids.
During the fall of that year every night as I was tucking him into bed he would
recount to me his entire day at school.    Most times everything was good, but
if some part of his day had not gone good, he would flare up just telling me
all about it.    After a few weeks of this I got to thinking that it just was not good for him to be taking this all with him into the night.

I continued to let him tell me of his day, and after he was done I said to him,
'Take a deep breath and everything that just did not go your way, let it go.
Picture all of your fingers like a hose.    Think of a hose turned on full blast
with the water running out as it's laying in the driveway.   Take another deep
breath and let ALL of the YUCK - YUCKS just run out your fingers.
Take another deep breath and tell yourself.... tomorrow is another day.

For well over 2 years this has been a night time ritual for Kevin.   All I have to say now is, 'out with the yuck - yucks', he takes a deep breath and away it all goes.


Sleep can be a time of rejuvenation but not if the yucky parts of your day
go right along with you into the night time.
I have no doubt that this magical childhood meditation will stay with my son
for many years to come.

Now IF I could only get his corporate, fortune 500, manager Daddy to
grasp this concept I'm certain my hubby would have 'Sweet Dreams'.   :) 





Tuesday, February 22, 2005

The Past is Only a Wake

Float back in time with me to the fall of 1993.   I was 35 years old,
the mom of 2 children ages 11 and 9, and very unhappy
in a verbally abusive marriage.
(This info is not for your pity, rather to explain my life situation)

I started seeing Dr Paul who specialized in gastrointestinal problems.
I had wrenching pains in my stomach that was later diagnosed as 4 areas
of pre-ulcer.   The doc had me on medication that was helping somewhat
with the problem.  I was seeing him on a monthly basis.
In  the spring of 1994 I went in for an appointment and the doctor said to me....
"What do you do for fun"?   I sat there and thought, "FUN - HA if you only
knew what my life was like."    We ended the appointment with him
suggesting I find some sort of fun for my life.
On the drive home it dawned on me that this physical ailment was more
a manifestation of the emotional turmoil of my life.

The next month's appointment rolled around and he says to me....
"Well kiddo, what did you find fun to do"?   I started out quite slowly
explaining my life situation.    I said to him, "You know doc, I am thinking
that my problem is more here, (pointing to my head) than here,
(pointing to my stomach).   "I would like you to refer me to a therapist."

I really dreaded going to talk to someone, not from the aspect of any
stigma of mental or emotional problems, but I did not want to have to
explain IT or get in there and dig up all of my past 36 years.
I made an appointment with the doctor that Dr Paul suggested.
I was instantly as ease with Dr Linda.    Dr Linda introduced me to a set of
tapes by Dr Wayne Dyer.   I've continued to read and listen to tapes by
Dr Dyer for about 11 years now.  I can hardly explain to you the wonderful
impact that he has had on my life.

In the summer of 2002 after I had listened to Dyer's book,
The Ten Secrets for Success and Inner Peace, something quite
profound came to me that forever changed my life.

In his words he explains "The Wake of Your Life".....

"The fifth secret says..... give up your personal history.
I mean, don't live in the wake of your life.
The wake of a boat is nothing more than the trail that is left behind.
NO matter how hard you try, you can never drive the boat with the wake,
it's just the trail left behind.
So, too, is the wake of your life.   It is just a trail left behind.
It is an illusion to believe that it is what is driving your life today.
What drives it is the same thing that drives the boat -
the present moment energy that is generated by the engine and
nothing more".

Instantly as soon as I heard him explain this I thought to myself....

"EVERYTHING that has happened in my past had to happen in
just that way to make me the person I am today".

"EVERYTHING that has happened in my past had to happen in
just that way to make me the person I am today".

That was no typo, I entered it twice because it was such a defining
moment in my life.

That realization and my understanding of that point just lifted a life time
of rocks off of my back.
I was a person nearly hunched over to the ground with all of my
past flung on my back.
The peace and serenity could be compared to losing 50 or more
pounds of weight in an instant.
That which I was choosing to carry around with me was only the wake.
The part of my life that was behind.
It would never  directly control my life again.

WHAT A MOMENT THAT WAS !!!!!!!!!!!!!

PS:

I need to share with you a light hearted exchange I had with a nurse who
was doing a pre-op quesetionnaire with me prior to shoulder surgery
in 2003.
Covering my whole past medical history, I was explaining about the
stomach problems and pre-ulcers.
The nurse, in a most quizzical and almost unbelieving way said.....
"You are fine with your stomach today" ????????
"You have had no further problems"????????????

I chuckled a bit and responded.......
"Ohhhhhhhhh   I divorced that problem".

It's all been a learning, and I ~Journey~ on  ...




Monday, February 21, 2005

Inside is Where It's At

When trying to decide on a name for my blog,
Deb_Inside came to me rather quickly.

Inside IS where it's AT.

We view the world from inside ourselves looking out.
Your view of the world is different than my view.
When you look out, you see your own nose.
(Don't keep looking at your nose, you'll get dizzy)

It's all filtered through the parts of you that are you.

Many years ago I was working at a company doing
electronic assembly.  There were about 5 women
and myself who worked in an area that was close
enough for us to talk back and forth among ourselves.
We would listen to radio talk shows and on some days
discussions would start.  Everyone of us heard the same
thing, but it could be viewed in such different ways.
Sometimes those discussions would escalate to arguments.
I will have to say that most often I was a listener and not
IN on the arguments.  I coined a phrase to share with
my friends that thankfully ended many an argument
before they totally go out of hand....

"Interpretation is personal and similarity is relevant"
D. Estep 1992

To quote the actor Will Smith....
"You're a new person everyday"

Expand from the INSIDE out and ~grow~.



How We Get Through -


Morning dawns, a Mother wakes
she steps quietly into the bedroom of her child
she offers up a prayer
to God that he watch over her child.

Morning dawns and a military Mother wakes.
Her mind is filled with the wonder of
her far away child.  She offers up a prayer
to God that he watch over her child.

Afternoon comes and a Mother listens
to the fast talk of her child as the entire
day spills out in 2 minutes.

Afternoon comes and a military Mothers
opens her email and hopes for word
from her child.
For one an email has come and she sighs
in relief.   Another closes her empty
email box and tears fill her eyes.

Day is done and night has come
a Mother tenderly kisses her child's cheek
and pulls the covers around their body.

Day is done and and night has come
a military Mother closes her eyes
her mind races as she prays that
God and his angels be close to her child.

This military Mom asks you to offer
a prayer for all of our military and their
families as they get through,
one day at a time.

D. Estep - 11/1/2004




Sunday, February 20, 2005

My First Post and ~Thank You~

This first posting in my blog will be dedicated to my brother, David.
I've always thought of him as one of my bookends.  David being
the first born in our family, myself next in line, and then my
bro, Michael.

Perhaps David and I made the choice of our parents ahead of
our entrance into this world.  I think we decided he should
come first.  David has always been a natural leader.
I've observed that he has always been one to 'think outside
of the box'. 

Life is certainly about evolution. (a process of continuous change
from a simpler to a higher, more complex, or better state)

I have so enjoyed the journey as your sis.  You're one in a million. !!

Thank you bro for the nudge to get into the world of blogging.
I love ya !!

Debs