Saturday, October 24, 2020

Your Mother Is Always With You by Deborah R Force-Shy-Gerlach-Culver

 

 Your Mother Is Always With You

She’s the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street.

She’s the smell of certain foods you remember, flowers you pick, the fragrance of life itself.

She’s the cool hand on your brow when you’re not feeling well.

She’s your breath in the air on a cold winters’ day.

She is the sound of the rain that lulls you to sleep, the colors of a rainbow.

She is Christmas morning.

Your mother lives inside your laughter.

She’s the place you come from, your first home.

She’s the map you follow with every step you take.

She’s your first love, your first friend, even your first enemy.

But nothing on Earth can separate you.

Not time.

Not space.

Not even death.

Poem by - Deborah R Force-Shy-Gerlach-Culver


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I had a copy for so many years of this touching poem.  I never knew who
the author was, but I am THRILLED to have found out. 
AND......... She is a Deborah.  ALL the more special.
Thank you Deborah, for in sharing your grief on your dear Mother's passing
you have helped so many along the way. 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I came across Deborah reaching out to clarify the backstory about
her poem.   I am sharing these as a way to honor not only Deborah's writing,
but her dear Mother too.

DeborahRForce-Shy-Gerlach-Culver said...

Dear Positive Thinkers Journal,

I'm so glad you enjoy the poem and that it is helping so many people who are missing their Mother's whether alive or passed away.
I am writing you correct the authorship of my poem you have shown on your website.
Here is my poem, the original copyrighted version and the authorship is not Author Unknown.
Your Mother is always with you! © TXu2-148-410
By: Deborah R Culver
I wrote this poem and shared it on my Facebook page. My friends shared it and my name was removed from the poem and it was labeled Unknown Author. I didn’t realize this had happened until years later. I had Facebook deactivate my page because it was hacked and had forgotten I had shared my poem on it, until last year.
I was reading my poem on my computer when I thought, everything stays in cyberspace, perhaps I can find the post. I Goggled the title “Your Mother Is Always With You” and was shocked to see the love of my Mother in poem had gone viral, and was listed as Author Unknown!
I had Facebook re-activate my account and along with original posting history and original handwritten poem submitted my work to be copywritten. If you could please change the authorship on your website, I would greatly appreciate it. I am working with a lawyer to get my royalties from those who are using my poem for profit, selling everything from artwork to T-Shirts and funeral homes are using it as an entire theme for bereavement of a Mom’s passing.
I love that my poem is helping so many in grieving the loss of their Mom’s. Bereavement groups are using them and even those whose Mother is still living – love the poem as they are just missing her and living far away from their Mom.
I have been in touch with many other websites as well as Suzanne Sommers and her staff who have changed their posting to reflect my authorship.
My four brothers and I lost our Mother on Christmas Eve Day, 1985. Her name Joann L. Force and she died at the age of 45 after a grueling battle with breast cancer. It took me many years to resolve the love, grief and pain which culminated in the poem I wrote for her.
The line, she is Christmas morning is a double reference. Her death at Christmas was most painful but doubly because it was her favorite holiday and both my parents made the holiday extra special. Christmas Eve was all about God and Jesus, a celebration of His birthday with a cake and reading of the Christmas scriptures. Christmas morning was gift giving and of course when we were little we believed in Santa, but knew what Christmas was really about.
I think it wonderful for my Mother to have gotten her wish to see Jesus at Christmas! It was just hard for us left behind to lose her.
I am a poet, writer and lyricist with many other poems, works in progress of my autobiography with the same name as the poem, “Your Mother Is Always With You”, and novels.
Please contact me as I would truly appreciate it if you could remedy the mistake made with my poem.
Sincerely,

Deborah R Culver
Aka Deborah R Force-Shy-Gerlach-Culver

April 26, 2020 - Facebook

I appreciate everyone being blessed by the love for my Mother in poem...

I was 23 when I lost my Mother to a grueling battle of Breast Cancer that we thought had been beaten.

We know so much more about cancer these days and the treatments are so much better, but back then Chemotherapy kept my Mom from being able to keep anything down and I’m not sure if it was cancer or malnutrition that caused her passing. Back then we didn’t have the luxury of the internet with so much information on how to help someone going through cancer and how their loved ones can help them.

Her story is she found a lump and when she went to her family doctor and was given a Mammogram, they in their ignorance told her it had to grow before removing it. I was not aware of this or the advice until much later and I was furious, as was my family. (Especially since her Mom, my Grandmother died from breast cancer too!) She was only 43.

When it got to be large enough, she had a partial lumpectomy and so her recovery began. In time for my wedding, it seemed she had reached remission. But when I returned from my honeymoon, my husband and I moved into my parents home so I could help with her care. She was having a lot of back pain. She went to a Chiropractor who had a blood test and the cancer had moved into her bone marrow and she wasn’t reproducing her own blood.

Again, more chemo and not being able to keep things down. She had several transfusions and eventually she was sent home with Hospice. I had no idea what that meant. I was exhausted taking 12 hours shifts as was my Dad, I didn’t know that it meant she was going to die.

Christmas was her favorite time of year and it seemed at every holiday coming up to that point she had to go to the hospital for another transfusion and couldn’t eat the food. She was looking forward to Christmas. My brothers wanted to do Christmas early, and me, not understanding she was leaving us, said no we’ll have it at Christmas because I knew how important that would be for her.

Christmas Eve day my Mom hadn’t’ woken up and was having a very deep and heavy breathing. My Dad called the doctor and sent me to the store to by all the things for Christmas Eve Jesus Birthday celebration and Christmas Day dinner, etc.

I remember feeling extra lonely shopping without her…we always went together. Made is special by stopping for coffee or something afterwards, etc…

I think my Mom waited for me to be away before dying. I don’t think I could have let her go. When I came home, loads of cars were in the parking lot including the doctors vehicle. Not realizing it was a funeral’s home vehicle for taking the body away.

I came in with my arms full of bags, always a one trip Suzie, and everyone was around the perimeter of our large dining room. No one looked at me and I dropped the bags and tore into the living room where she was…she was gone. I lost it. My Mom was gone. The person who as I grew up had become more than a Mom, but my very best friend…the one person who knew me like God and loved me unconditionally.

She left for heaven on Christmas Eve Day…it would have been even harder had it happened in the evening. It was her favorite holiday because of her love of Jesus and her family and she made Christmas!

It took many years to come to terms with the grief of losing her for all of us. I know we grieved her loss during her favorite time of the year…but I know she got the gift she wanted for Christmas…to see Jesus.

So, that is why the line: She is Christmas morning; means so much.

I was amazed last year that it had gone viral from a Facebook account I had FB deactivate due to hacking...but it had circulated as author unknown as in sending from my friends my name somehow was separated.

Some have created lovely posts and videos with music of the poem, some have altered the wording to mean more to them personally.

Everyone I contacted about my authorship has been so kind, gracious and changing the posts to my original version and adding my name. And everyone of them told me how the poem touched them and helped them with their individual loss. It’s been a beautiful experience and continues to be so.

Many bereavement groups are using it and posting it to help others who missed their Mother whether she has passed away or just a long way away from her here on earth.

Authors have shared it and used it as an exercise for others to express similar thoughts to personalize it for yourself.

English classes are studying my poem too. (Which validates my not wanting to learn Technical English...I didn't want to know what each word I was writing was...I just wanted to express my feelings..I barely passed English...lol...and being a writer lol).

What really shocked me, in a good way is that, Funeral homes are using my poem as an entire theme for funerals...people are recreating my poem in art, t-shirts, etc... and selling them...

So, I need to (when I can afford it) have a lawyer help me to collect royalties. In the meantime, I have had to go through 100's of google search results to contact those who posted or using it for sale to add my name and if they want to continue to sell items with the poem to make an arrangement for its use.

I know my Mom is beaming happily in heaven that my love of her in poem has reached so many and continues to do so. She always encouraged my writing and saved everything I did. In a way, the backwards upside-down way my poem has gone viral is a gift…going farther perhaps because it was shown as unknown. Opening golden doors for my autobiography to be published from my poem being copyrighted. As well as other poetry, and three novels I’ve been working on.

I will keep you all apprised of my path towards finishing the works mentioned above. Your prayers and good thoughts are always more than welcome.

Thank you again for liking, loving and perhaps being touched so much to tears by the poem and for sharing it to others.

Praying all are well, healthy and safe during these dark times we find ourselves in. Those who have contracted the virus to be healed quickly and restored to good health. Those who have suffered losses to be comforted and extra protection for all but mostly for those out there performing essential jobs. Thank You! Prayers that this virus will go away soon!

Love, Peace and Blessings to you all!

Deborah R Culver

Deborah R Force-Shy-Gerlach-Culver

QueenB Instagram: @QueenB_wiov

Twitter: @Rough_Innosense

Facebook: www.facebook.com/Rough.Innocence

Number One Music: www.numberonemusic.com/RoughInnocence



 

Wednesday, October 21, 2020

BOO SHEET

 

 2020 is BOO SHEET

 

 The year CLEARLY has been very difficult. My heart goes out to the

families who have lost loved ones and to all of those currently 

in the battle with Covid.   I saw the BOO SHEET graphic and I had to 

paint my own take on it.  Feel free to copy and share. 

Prayers for better days ahead. 

 

With Love  ....  Debra Estep 

 


 #BOOSHEET

Saturday, October 10, 2020

Card Embelishments from Diamond Painting Diamonds


 

Daymaker - David Wagner

It only takes a moment
to make someone's day — to become a Daymaker.

Sometimes those moments even change lives as I discovered a number of years ago. I was working in my salon one day when a client came in to have her hair styled. I was surprised to see her since it was right in the middle of her five-week period between haircuts. I figured that she must have an important social engagement, so I asked her about her evening plans.

“I don’t have anything special going on,” she told me. “I just want to look and feel good tonight.”

I gave her a great scalp massage, then shampooed and styled her hair. During our 30 minutes together, we joked and laughed. At the end, she smiled radiantly, hugging me goodbye.

A few days later I received a letter from this client and began to realize the enormous potential of Daymaking. My client admitted that she had wanted her hair styled so it would look good for her own funeral. She had planned to commit suicide that evening. But the wonderful time she had during our appointment had given her hope that things could get better. She decided to check herself into the hospital and get professional help. She thanked me for caring, even though I hadn’t known what she was going through.

She wrote, “Thank you for being there without knowing that you were.”

I was stunned. I had spent time with this woman about once a month for three years, yet that day I had no inkling she was so distressed. I was glad to have made such a difference, yet the experience left me with an enormous sense of responsibility. What if I had been upset, distracted, or hurried when she came to see me? That experience made me take stock of myself as a stylist and as a person. How many of the ten clients I saw each day might be in personal crisis? Even if it were only one person a day, I might have no way of knowing who needed some extra attention. I resolved to treat every person I met like I had treated that woman. It might sound like a lot of work, but it wasn’t hard to have fun with my client that day. It was natural and made my day brighter, too.

After that experience, I vowed to give care and attention to everyone I saw. I figured it would make their day a little better, and who knows, it might save a life. I still thank my client for the gift of that letter because it changed my life as much as my kindness changed hers. When you realize the difference you can make for others, whether by spending a light-hearted half-hour together, giving them a smile, or simply holding the door open for them, your whole approach to life shifts. Why have random acts of kindness when we can have intentional acts of good will?

David Wagner
https://daymakermovement.com/about/our-story

 


Daymaker - David Wagner

(I posted this as a Facebook note back in 2011)
Sharing these words from David's site...........

Hello. Let me introduce myself. My name is David Wagner and I am a Daymaker. It is what I am, what I do, and it has been a blessing for the nearly 20 years that I have adopted this mindset and way of being. It has allowed me much success in my life. Ah' what is success?

I started being a Daymaker hairstylist and as a result was able to change my clients' lives so much that it gave me confidence in choosing to be a Daymaker in the other roles I play.

I became a Daymaker boss and my business flourished.

I got married and became a Daymaker husband.

I had two daughters and became a Daymaker dad. Every facet of my life has benefited by my choosing to be a Daymaker.

As a Daymaker, all of a sudden everything you do, whether it's letting someone merge into traffic or simply offering the waitress a friendly smile of appreciation for serving you, creates what I call "perfect moments." After all, days are made of moments and it's how we choose to be in those moments that shape our day and, in fact, our lives. I often say that I used to have two theories on raising children. Now I have two children and I don't have theories anymore. What you won't find in my book are theories on how to change your life or how you can impact the world around you. What you will find are stories from my life and my experiences that have shaped mine and helped me to see and realize that yes, as one person I can change the world. I've changed mine and it's beautiful. Please join me in changing the world in a beautiful way. When my world meets your world we have created a ripple of hope, love, and abundance of life together.
Love, David Wagner
Author of "Life as a Daymaker":

How to change the world by making someone's day.

TOP 50 WAYS TO BE A DAYMAKER

How to make your mate's day
  1. Write a love letter and send it in the mail. For a twist give it to someone traveling and have them send it from out of town.
  2. Send their parents flowers on your mate's birthday
  3. Rent a bicycle built for two for the weekend
  4. Offer to take over something they usually do (like cook dinner) when you know they are just too tired
  5. Break out the best china this week, especially with kids. It will create a special night for everyone
  6. Ladies- send him flowers at work today. How rare is it for a guy to get flowers? Very rare! They love it!
How to make your child's day
  1. Turn off your cell phone when you get home
  2. Have flowers delivered on their birthday
  3. Create an herb garden together
  4. Frame their artwork and hang it in your home and office
  5. Write them a letter on their birthday. Put it in a safe place and give to them when they turn eighteen
  6. Create a ritual of watching sunsets with your child
  7. Don't bring worries home from the office. Create a worry hook outside your door to hang them at night
  8. Take your daughter for her first make-up lesson
How to make your grandchild's day
  1. Send your grandchild a letter in the mail even if you live nearby.
  2. Telephone your grandchild regularly, and let them know you are calling especially to talk to them.
  3. If you live far away videotape yourself reading them a bedtime story.
  4. Keep a wall chart at your house to document how much they've grown.
  5. Make them a scrapbook of their parent's childhood. It will be a keepsake for them and their parents.
How to make a stranger's day
  1. Put a quarter in a gumball machine and walk away.
  2. Let people merge in traffic today.
  3. Carry thank you notes with you. Write them out to waiters and waitresses. It will surprise them more than a big tip.
  4. Buy a roll of tickets at an amusement park and give them to seniors.
  5. Plug a parking meter that's expired.
  6. Help a stranger take their luggage off the carousel at the airport.
  7. Buy a bike for your local children's shelter.
  8. Send flowers to the senior's home.
  9. Buy gift certificates to a car wash and leave them on the windshield of needy cars.
  10. Leave a flower at a bus stop.
  11. Buy gift certificates to an ice cream shop and give them out on a hot day.
How to be a Daymaker at work
  1. Offer to pick up lunch for someone you know is swamped.
  2. If you have an SUV offer to pick up others on a snowy day
  3. Pass the bouquet. Give someone special a bouquet and have them pass it on to someone else the following day. It's a week of Daymaking with one bouquet.
  4. Create a Daymaker of the year award at work.
  5. Have everyone bring in their high school graduation picture to post on the bulletin board.
  6. Write a thank you note to the boss. It's lonely at the top. Everyone needs to know they're appreciated for their work.
  7. Acknowledge promotions; send a card to the employee's home.
  8. Offer to drive someone home you know could use a ride.
  9. Pool your money together and buy someone a spa day as a thank you.
  10. Bring in a massage therapist to do chair massages. This is especially great for accounting firms in April.
  11. Post an employee's baby picture and let everyone guess who it is.
  12. At a monthly meeting have everyone in the room say something nice about whoever has a birthday that month.
Make your own day first
  1. Tonight make your home a spa. It's a great way to melt stress. You will need your favorite soothing music, scented candles, bath salts/oils, calming tea, and your favorite robe. Unplug the phone, put the kids to sleep and enjoy two hours of bliss.
  2. Buy live flowers on your way home tonight.
  3. Take a nap this Sunday.
  4. Call someone JUST to say, "I love you and I'm glad you are in my life."
  5. Watch the sunset tonight.
  6. Turn off the ringer on your phone during dinner.
  7. Be an optimist today. Look on the bright side of everything that comes your way today. Repeat it tomorrow.
  8. Get a wonderful scalp massage and a new haircut. It's a great sense of renewal.

Thursday, July 30, 2020

The dead are not distant or absent ...



"The dead are not distant or absent. They are alongside us.
When we lose someone to death, we lose their physical image and presence,
they slip out of visible form into invisible presence.
This alteration of form is the reason we cannot see the dead.
But because we cannot see them does not mean that they are not there.
Transfigured into eternal form, the dead cannot reverse the journey and
even for one second re-enter their old form to linger with us a while.
Though they cannot reappear, they continue to be near us and part
of the healing of grief is the refinement of our hearts whereby we
come to sense their loving nearness.
When we ourselves enter the eternal world and come to see
our lives on earth in full view, we may be surprised at the immense
assistance and support with which our departed loved ones
have accompanied every moment of our lives. In their new,
transfigured presence their compassion, understanding and
love take on a divine depth, enabling them to become
secret angels guiding and sheltering the unfolding of our destiny."

JOHN O'DONOHUE

Excerpt from his books, Beauty: The Invisible Embrace (US)

https://johnodonohue.com/store

Wednesday, July 15, 2020

Once Upon A Memory .....


I know it's a sad time, if you are reading this after I am no longer here...

The HARDEST part of missing Margaret was knowing that she was
THEE one person who loved me without conditions. 

Just be thankful you had that in me. 

I will LOVE you ALL...  Always.
Mom, Debra, Auntie Deb, Grammy #2



Sunday, April 26, 2020

Sunday - April 26, 2020

This post was shared on Facebook.
It’s not mine, but I copied because I want to remember it, too.


Today is Sunday, April 26, 2020.

- We are at 44 days of social isolation.

- Libraries have been closed since Mar
16 - some libraries (including mine) are doing curbside pickup only
- Schools have been closed since March 16 and are teaching remotely on-line. This will continue for the rest of the school year.
- colleges and universities are closed and online also. Summer classes will all be online. No one knows if there will be fall classes.
- There are lines / tapes inside the stores on the floors to keep people 6 feet apart.
- Bars and restaurants are open only for takeout, home delivery & pick-up.
- Playgrounds, beaches, hiking trails and walk-in places are not accessible to the public.
- All major and minor league sports competitions have been cancelled as well as kid's sports.
- All festivals and entertainment events have been banned. Most have been canceled for the summer.
- Weddings, family celebrations and birthdays have been cancelled. Funerals limited to 10-20 people.
- People are doing drive-by parades to celebrate birthdays!
- Young kids can’t understand why they can only see grandparents & other extended family and friends on a screen or thru a window
- Hugs and kisses are not exchanged.
- The churches are closed or online.
- We have to stay away from each other more than six feet.
- Shortage of disposable masks and gloves in hospitals. People are sewing homemade masks for themselves...sewing machines, fabric, and elastic are in short supply. People are also sewing masks for sale or donation to medical facilities.
- There are fewer ventilators than there should and need to be.
- People are wearing masks, some places even require that you wear them to enter.
- Toilet paper, hand sanitizer, hand soap, bleach, antibacterial wipes and anything Lysol or Clorox is in short supply and limited per person.... IF you can even find them!
- Stores are closing early to disinfect everything. (24 hour stores are even closing by 9pm)
- Store check outs, pharmacies, and even fast food drive thru windows have added plexiglass between the employee and the customer. Have to reach around or under to pay!
- You can't find isopropyl alcohol easily. .. the supply per person is limited.
- Australia, USA, Canada and Europe have closed their borders.
- No one is traveling for leisure. Airports empty. Tourism has the worst crisis in history.
Why do I post this?
Next year & then every year after, this status will appear in my Facebook memories feed. It will be an annual reminder that life is precious & that nothing should be taken for granted. We are where we are with what we have. Let's be grateful.