Your Mother Is Always With You
She’s the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street.
She’s the smell of certain foods you remember, flowers you pick, the fragrance of life itself.
She’s the cool hand on your brow when you’re not feeling well.
She’s your breath in the air on a cold winters’ day.
She is the sound of the rain that lulls you to sleep, the colors of a rainbow.
She is Christmas morning.
Your mother lives inside your laughter.
She’s the place you come from, your first home.
She’s the map you follow with every step you take.
She’s your first love, your first friend, even your first enemy.
But nothing on Earth can separate you.
Not even death.
Poem by - Deborah R Force-Shy-Gerlach-Culver
I had a copy for so many years of this touching poem. I never knew who
the author was, but I am THRILLED to have found out.
AND......... She is a Deborah. ALL the more special.
Thank you Deborah, for in sharing your grief on your dear Mother's passing
you have helped so many along the way.
I came across Deborah reaching out to clarify the backstory about
her poem. I am sharing these as a way to honor not only Deborah's writing,
but her dear Mother too.
- DeborahRForce-Shy-Gerlach-Culver said...
April 26, 2020 - Facebook
I appreciate everyone being blessed by the love for my Mother in poem...
I was 23 when I lost my Mother to a grueling battle of Breast Cancer that we thought had been beaten.
We know so much more about cancer these days and the treatments are so much better, but back then Chemotherapy kept my Mom from being able to keep anything down and I’m not sure if it was cancer or malnutrition that caused her passing. Back then we didn’t have the luxury of the internet with so much information on how to help someone going through cancer and how their loved ones can help them.
Her story is she found a lump and when she went to her family doctor and was given a Mammogram, they in their ignorance told her it had to grow before removing it. I was not aware of this or the advice until much later and I was furious, as was my family. (Especially since her Mom, my Grandmother died from breast cancer too!) She was only 43.
When it got to be large enough, she had a partial lumpectomy and so her recovery began. In time for my wedding, it seemed she had reached remission. But when I returned from my honeymoon, my husband and I moved into my parents home so I could help with her care. She was having a lot of back pain. She went to a Chiropractor who had a blood test and the cancer had moved into her bone marrow and she wasn’t reproducing her own blood.
Again, more chemo and not being able to keep things down. She had several transfusions and eventually she was sent home with Hospice. I had no idea what that meant. I was exhausted taking 12 hours shifts as was my Dad, I didn’t know that it meant she was going to die.
Christmas was her favorite time of year and it seemed at every holiday coming up to that point she had to go to the hospital for another transfusion and couldn’t eat the food. She was looking forward to Christmas. My brothers wanted to do Christmas early, and me, not understanding she was leaving us, said no we’ll have it at Christmas because I knew how important that would be for her.
Christmas Eve day my Mom hadn’t’ woken up and was having a very deep and heavy breathing. My Dad called the doctor and sent me to the store to by all the things for Christmas Eve Jesus Birthday celebration and Christmas Day dinner, etc.
I remember feeling extra lonely shopping without her…we always went together. Made is special by stopping for coffee or something afterwards, etc…
I think my Mom waited for me to be away before dying. I don’t think I could have let her go. When I came home, loads of cars were in the parking lot including the doctors vehicle. Not realizing it was a funeral’s home vehicle for taking the body away.
I came in with my arms full of bags, always a one trip Suzie, and everyone was around the perimeter of our large dining room. No one looked at me and I dropped the bags and tore into the living room where she was…she was gone. I lost it. My Mom was gone. The person who as I grew up had become more than a Mom, but my very best friend…the one person who knew me like God and loved me unconditionally.
She left for heaven on Christmas Eve Day…it would have been even harder had it happened in the evening. It was her favorite holiday because of her love of Jesus and her family and she made Christmas!
It took many years to come to terms with the grief of losing her for all of us. I know we grieved her loss during her favorite time of the year…but I know she got the gift she wanted for Christmas…to see Jesus.
So, that is why the line: She is Christmas morning; means so much.
I was amazed last year that it had gone viral from a Facebook account I had FB deactivate due to hacking...but it had circulated as author unknown as in sending from my friends my name somehow was separated.
Some have created lovely posts and videos with music of the poem, some have altered the wording to mean more to them personally.
Everyone I contacted about my authorship has been so kind, gracious and changing the posts to my original version and adding my name. And everyone of them told me how the poem touched them and helped them with their individual loss. It’s been a beautiful experience and continues to be so.
Many bereavement groups are using it and posting it to help others who missed their Mother whether she has passed away or just a long way away from her here on earth.
Authors have shared it and used it as an exercise for others to express similar thoughts to personalize it for yourself.
English classes are studying my poem too. (Which validates my not wanting to learn Technical English...I didn't want to know what each word I was writing was...I just wanted to express my feelings..I barely passed English...lol...and being a writer lol).
What really shocked me, in a good way is that, Funeral homes are using my poem as an entire theme for funerals...people are recreating my poem in art, t-shirts, etc... and selling them...
So, I need to (when I can afford it) have a lawyer help me to collect royalties. In the meantime, I have had to go through 100's of google search results to contact those who posted or using it for sale to add my name and if they want to continue to sell items with the poem to make an arrangement for its use.
I know my Mom is beaming happily in heaven that my love of her in poem has reached so many and continues to do so. She always encouraged my writing and saved everything I did. In a way, the backwards upside-down way my poem has gone viral is a gift…going farther perhaps because it was shown as unknown. Opening golden doors for my autobiography to be published from my poem being copyrighted. As well as other poetry, and three novels I’ve been working on.
I will keep you all apprised of my path towards finishing the works mentioned above. Your prayers and good thoughts are always more than welcome.
Thank you again for liking, loving and perhaps being touched so much to tears by the poem and for sharing it to others.
Praying all are well, healthy and safe during these dark times we find ourselves in. Those who have contracted the virus to be healed quickly and restored to good health. Those who have suffered losses to be comforted and extra protection for all but mostly for those out there performing essential jobs. Thank You! Prayers that this virus will go away soon!
Love, Peace and Blessings to you all!
Deborah R Culver
Deborah R Force-Shy-Gerlach-Culver
QueenB Instagram: @QueenB_wiov
Number One Music: www.numberonemusic.com/RoughInnocence