Change = Growth

Up until now, I've not been a person who readily
accepts change.

Back on June 15th I came to the realization that I
needed to make some changes and define my
personal goals.

In the days that have followed, I can best describe
it all as having a personal metamorphosis.

Goal setting and follow through with action is
giving me a much changed life philosophy.

Previously the thought of personal organization
would have sent a magnitude 8.2 right down
my spine.

Today, at nearly all times, I have 3 notebooks
within arms reach.

Notebook One:
Planning My Life
I defined 5 major life goals.   I spaced those
out over the pages of the notebook, in the way
an author would create a chapter for a book.
Under each chapter, I'm breaking down the
steps or actions necessary to attain the goal.

Notebook Two:
Cheerleader Notebook
My entries there are encouraging quotes,
thoughts that come to me, coincidences,
or nudges from the Universe that this changed
life philosophy is very good.
I started this second notebook with these quotes:
'Live your Best Life' - from the Oprah magazine
'Celebrate Who You Are Right Now' - Author unknown

Notebook Three:
Day to Day
This notebook is a steno sized one, with
a day to day to do list.

With all this change and TO DO, life
sometimes will throw me a curve.
In those times I'm going with the flow.
If I were to hold so tightly without some
flexibility it would only bring me anguish
and frustration. 

I'm a masterpiece in progress with this
new life philosophy.
Change does indeed = Growth !!!

Philosophy has almost as many definitions as there
have been philosophers, both as a subject matter and
an activity, and no simple definition can do it justice.
The word is derived from the ancient
Greek words philo-, to love or to befriend,
and -sophia, wisdom.
From Wikipedia

~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~      ~      ~

I won't be footnoting every single
post under goals by extending
my gratitude to Nathalie,
but IF it were not for her nudge
and tag, I would not be in the
place of awareness that I am today.
~ Thank You Nathalie ~

Space Station Passed Directly Over OUR house !

I'm not back to blogging just yet,
but wanted to share something REALLY
amazing that that happened last evening.

This is confirmation for me
~ from the Universe ~
that I am indeed on a VERY good path.   :)


Back on June 15th, I made a blog post -

Gotta Get Goals ~ Tag

I started out that post with these words.................

Have you ever heard someone say…

“That was a light bulb moment?”

Well, I have had one of those AND then some.

You want to know HOW then some it is…. Okay.

The light bulbs that went on for me yesterday

morning would be the amount of light generated

to see an entire city from the International

Space Station that is circling the Earth.
   

YEP…. I’m guessing ABOUT that many light bulbs. !!!

~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~

Well... last night the

International Space Station

and the Space Shuttle passed

- DIRECTLY - over our house !!!!!!


I heard it on the news last night a local
meteorologist, Dick Goddard said to look in the
sky between 9:30 pm and 9:42 pm.
He said it would be visable in the North West sky
and would be travelling South - South East at a
speed of 17,500 MPH.

About 9:29 pm my hubby Michael, son Kevin and
myself were standing on our back deck
scanning the night sky.   What a SIGHT we
made.   The sky was crystal clear.   Venus
was clearly visible in the Western sky as it
has been for serveral days.

Michael spotted it first.    The time frame
of it's visibility, maybe all of 3 minutes.
I was able to snap a couple of pictures and
will share one here.   It's was a clear dot, even
though there appears to be more of it, from the
picture.    A tripod might have helped there.
As they stated we did see the shuttle too, but
due to it's size, the light was much less intense.

~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~

Space Station Will Be Visible In Sky Tonight
June 21, 2007

CLEVELAND -- The international space station will be flying

directly over northeast Ohio on Thursday night, and if
conditions are clear, you will be able to see it in the night sky.

The station will appear as a moving bright dot.
There will be no red, green or strobe lights.

The light is sunlight reflected off the station itself.

Depending on its departure, the space shuttle will

be seen as a lesser light moving in the same path
within two minutes afterward.

While it is not that unusual to see the station,

it is normally not this bright nor does it visibly pass

so directly over us.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am VERY grateful for friends
who GET THIS. !
 
Love
Deb

Whoooooooooo who !!!!!!

Internationl Space Station 6-21-2007

* Online Hiatus For Me *

My Dear Friends,

To go along with a new direction I need to
develop for myself, I've decided to take a
3 week break from online.
From today until Monday July 9th.
(okay - that's a couple of days over 3 wks) 

This is just a little stepping back for me to
re-group.   It all has to do with the Goals
post I made. 

This is from my blog, and a few other
online sites of which I am a member.

I would welcome ALL good vibes
and prayers at this time.   :)

This is also summer time and my son
Kevin - age 10 needs much more
Mom time than I have been devoting
to him.

I am *Grateful* for YOU ALL !!!!   

Namaste`
Deb

My pink climber rose bush, and a friend who
dropped by yesterday.    I'm quite certain
my friend's name is ~James~ 

Gotta Get Goals ~ Tag

Have you ever heard someone say…

“That was a light bulb moment?”

Well, I have had one of those AND then some.

You want to know HOW then some it is…. Okay.

The light bulbs that went on for me yesterday

morning would be the amount of light generated

to see an entire city from the International

Space Station that is circling the Earth.    

YEP…. I’m guessing ABOUT that many light bulbs. !!!

I have Nathalie and being tagged for this meme to

thank for the NEW glow in my brain. !!!!!!!

Gotta Get Goals Meme

At first I thought about going along with the meme

and just making up goals.   I could not do that.

Trust me, I did not entertain that notion for very long.

I have never set goals for myself ….  EVER…. EVER !!!

So here is my first goal.

1.   Learn how to ~take action~ set goals ~ and follow through.

There’s a dear online friend of mine Phil Gerbyshak.

Phil is the author of the book:

10 Ways To Make It Great

Phil’s book arrived to me last year, I looked it over and

said to myself, ‘There are so many ‘great’ ideas here’.   

I think I will work some of these into my life.

Phil’s book is a step by step guide outlined in

20 Actions Steps for Making It Great.   

The entire key that I missed is the action part !

I sat here this morning and really reflected on

WHY walls go up for me when it comes to setting

goals. 

I’ve never been one to boo hoo what my

childhood was like, but in this deep introspection

I heard a thought from the other side….

Chaos, confusion and disorganization these

were all you knew your entire childhood.

This is your comfort zone, and anything that

smacks otherwise is not a comfort for you.

It was early yesterday morning I first started writing

this, and I just had to step aside and come back.

I was in a funk all day.    How could it be that I am

the age of 49 and not have come to an understanding

of this sooner.   

Thankfully ~Spirit~ stepped in and reminded me

to be thankful for the WAKE UP call .. EVEN NOW. !!

At one point of the day I thought, Ohhhhhhhh

you can’t make a blog post of this, it’s just way

too personal.    It’s painful, and it hurts.

Of course reason prevailed,  I blog to share,

and that means sharing with authenticity. 

If my sharing WIDE OPEN helps one more person

who might be in the place I am with this goal thing,

then I need to move forward and JUST DO IT.

To people who have always set goal, I can hardly

describe to you the depths of how that goes against

my  grain, but at the same time I know that I must

re-invent myself here.

To Nathalie, you little sweetie pie, what an

eye opener this tag has been for me.

Kudos to Alex Shalman for originating the meme.

 

Phil, your generous gift of this book to me will

not go to waste.   It will be a starting point and

then some.   

Having shared this, I can’t just slide back under

the rock and pretend like I don’t know.   LOL

It’s all so fresh…....     

Today is a new day….   I stopped the above writing

yesterday because an ending was not there

in my mind.    This morning I decided to read through

some quotations on goals.

As soon as I read this one, I knew it was IT.

'If you don't know where you are going,
you'll end up someplace else.'

Yogi Berra

‘A seed once planted and nurtured

has no choice but to rise above the

soil and reach for the ~light~’.

Deb Estep ~ quote & photo 6/15/2007

~~ Empath ~~

Just a couple of days ago, I was web searching looking to connect with others
who are empaths.   That search led me to a site where a woman had questioned
why some people can meet someone and know everything about them in a matter
of minutes and how those particular people have total strangers confiding in them.

She went on to say that she considers herself a friendly person, but that did not
happen to her.

The person who was asking had also made mention of this to a group she was
with and one person’s response was, ‘some people are empaths’.    
Even though my original search mission was to hook up with others who are in
the know, I felt it important to share my experience and maybe offer some insight
about this all.   
I’ll share my comment response in just a moment,

but I first want to touch on where I first recalled hearing the word ~ empath.

Commander Deanna Troi. 
   

For you non Trek types, in the TV show, Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Troi served aboard the U.S.S. Enterprise as the ships counselor.

( Wow – TNG made it's debut September 26, 1987 )

Man, IF that show had delved into Troi’s early days perfecting her skills as an
empath

it certainly would have helped me process a part of myself that it has

taken me many years to understand and come to terms with.   
I’m still learning as I go though, and no doubt it was meant to unfold in
just this way.    Come to think of it, the beauty of a rose ~ IS ~ in it’s unfolding.

Okay………. here is the comment that I shared:

I am one of ~those~ people…An empath.

I came upon this site while doing a blog search on the word empath.
It would be wonderful to meet up with others and share stories back and forth.

First off, let me start by saying I have not always used the word empath to
define myself.  I did not even know that I was one.

More than 20 years ago I can recall going to ‘amusement parks’ with my then
husband and young children. (He’s now an EX - Thank God - lol )
It would happen in less than an hour of being there…. my head was pounding
and I felt dizzy.
I tried to deal with the discomfort for the sake of my children, but I always left
with a major full blown headache.
He would rant on the drive home that Mommy is just no fun and does not like
to have a good time.

The truth would not come to me until many years later…
it was not only amusement parks, it was any place I went where there was
a great many people.
The best way to describe it would be like looking at your TV set,
but hearing about 200 different audios at once. Well it’s not like I can actually
hear conversations, but I FEEL them.  I feel when others are distressed.

It was about 5 or 6 years ago that an online friend said to me…
‘You are an empath’. He said that because of an email that I sent him …
JUST when he needed to hear from a friend.

This happens quite often. I trust my inner knowing and IF I have someone on my
mind, it could be because of some good thing, or maybe some not so good thing
going on with them.
And…… yes, people stop me ALL the time even in places like a grocery store
and out will spill a life story.

Only very recently like in the past year or so have I been able to ‘bubble myself’
and shield out some of the constant stream of emotions from others.

Hmmmm that makes me think that maybe I should post about this on my own
blog in hopes that empaths would find me.

I hope you don’t mind the extent to which I have written here to explain about it.

One more thing, I think we ALL have the ability to ~tune~ in other people.
You are a radio, but are you only tuned in to your OWN channel ?
You can adjust the dial to tune in to others and develop those empathic skills.

But let me add… it is a blessing and at times a curse.

The gal responded to me:

      Thanks for your post. It was very interesting,
      especially the part about all of us having the ability to tune in other people.

I then commented back saying:

             I was just telling a friend this yesterday in an online conversation......

Recently I read a line by author Caroline Myss…to Paraphrase her she said…
~~ We ALL have abilities. Do not refer to them as gifts. They are skills.
Skills need practice to fully develop. ~~

I am in agreement with Myss…..
I mean, who would think they could pick up a bowling ball for the first time and
bowl a 300 game.

Who knows this about me?    Well up until sometime about a year ago
only a select few.   
I mean who would go about extending one’s hand and saying…..

Hi – my name is Deb and I’m an empath.

I would not be sitting here today and talking about this if it had not been for my
~Deb~utante post back in early April.   

Speaking of the learning part of it all, it was in June of 2006 that I removed
myself from an online Air Force Parents support site of which I was the
group moderator.    In explaining to the group my reasons for
leaving, I told them this:

THOSE of you who know me WELL know that God has blessed me with a GIFT.
I call that 'gift' empathy.

An ACTUAL ABILITY to FEEL the emotions of other people.  But with this gift comes......
a personal weight of sorts.
I take in so much and at times I am mentally and even physically
BOMBARDED by emotions.

Even to the point that my own mental health is at risk.

My best friend tells me I look tired all the time....
my Mom and Dad are worried to no end and keep asking
ME IF I am okay. 'You look so tired'.

I am being TRUE to ~ME~ and myself in this decision.

Once I came to this decision....... I have not asked God for prayers for myself in this,
but I have asked him for prayers for all of you... !!!!    FOR your understanding.

A VERY long time ago, when I was a teen deciding what to DO with my life...
I choose not to go on to higher education. At the time I thought, "nothing I will ever
do can change the world."

I've learned in the past 11 or 12 years how VERY wrong I was in stating that.....

I've learned I have the ~ability~ to change the world EVERY single day...
Maybe a smile to someone, or a cheerful word... EVERYONE of us has that ability. !!!!!!!!

All I can say is that IF something of me has touched your heart and life then you
need to bring that ~spirit~ out into the world and SHOW that ~spirit~ to others.....

Love
Deb

That was my goodbye post and after receiving great support,

and also having a few select folks email me privately saying I just could not leave,
I dropped off the site completely.    Choosing to put my needs first.   

I will have to say that not so many people questioned me on exactly WHAT an
empath was….hmmmm maybe they are Star Trek fans too.   LOL    
Or maybe they felt it’s one of those taboo type subjects that you just don’t
want to even bring up, certainly not on a group site, and maybe not even in
a private email.

It was since that time in June of last year that I have come to a new
understanding, thanks to Caroline Myss, that being an empath is a skill.   
I have also come to know how to ground and shield myself so I can function
as an empath without having to just totally close down. 
I knew shutting down would be very wrong.    Something like cutting off my
arm because I had a hang nail.    The shielding and grounding I’m still
learning how to work with that.
Stayed ~tuned~ I feel another blog topic coming about shielding and grounding.

No doubt some of you have written on this subject already, and please do link a
comment back to your site if you have.

I also want to share that 6 months later, I was able to sign back on the group,
but I did not take back the moderator duties.    This way, being a member of the
group I can pull back in times when I can not always keep the emotions
from crushing me.

So if you are an EMpath, let’s talk about it.  Here would be great,
but if you are not so comfortable sharing publicly, please do email me.
afmomdeb@gmail.com

IF you have Googled your way here…   I’ve been looking for you too.    Wink  ;)

If you know someone in your life who seems to have this kind of ability to
KNOW  YOU or read you, reach out to them like my friend did and say…..   
“You are an empath”.   Then point them to this post.   :))))))

In ending …. my ~gratitude~ to Slade in an email yesterday he said this …
You are so "receptive" -- you pick up -- you're a receiver for sure.



Philco Cathedral Radio ~ 1931

~ Gratitude ~ Count Your Blessings

Intending to write my blog today around Gratitude,
I went to my category list to see what I had previously
written under this topic.   

* Deb STOPS right in her tracks *

Ohhhhhhhh MY, I don't even HAVE a *Gratitude* category. !!!!!
( I do now ~ smile )

In March of 2006 I had shared these thoughts to a group
of online friends........

~ In case you are wondering how I could locate this right away,
this online forum has a searchable area....  ;)

                    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

An Attitude of Gratitude

I had given my daughter Nicole this book for her birthday last month..... Shakti Gawain's book Creative Visualization - Use the Power of Your Imagination to Create What You Want in Your Life I then picked up a CD of the book from the library to listen to it.     I read, but find it much easier to listen to books while I do other things. Anyway, Gawain made a mention of gratitude.     It was an area on affirmations that she made mention of it.     I had heard about it before, but had not stopped to actually USE the thoughts about it, until this past week. I was driving through a very long 20 MPH school zone in my city.     Normally I bitch to myself from one end to the other.....   THIS time I instantly and with purpose changed my thoughts to gratitude. These were my thoughts....... "I'm grateful that I live in a country where children CAN attend school" "I'm grateful for the excellent school system in my city" "I'm grateful that my son likes his teacher"    Hmmmmmmm   I had other thoughts too, but you get the idea.... In what almost seemed like half the normal time, I was through that school zone AND I was ONLY driving 20 MPH. !! I might have to make myself an index card until I can incorporate the thinking of gratitude more directly.   :))             ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Jumping back to the present...... My intent and my actions obviously did not meet up together here, because over a year later *Gratitude* is not a daily part of my thinking. 'Count Your Blessings'   Sounds like some sage wisdom from a Grandmother.    That thought popped in my head as I was arranging my gratitude thoughts today. Indeed, maybe it was one or both of my crossed over ladies lending me a creative thought.  ;) Count Your Blessings plain and simple is you being grateful for the blessings in your life.  Upon counting, you will find yourself transported away from the other side of your life that is ..... ***   Holding you down/back ***   Making you upset ***   P*issing you off ***   Fill in the blank  ______________ In my graphics program that would be a MIRROR IMAGE. To think about gratitude is FINE........ It's remembering to incorporate that into your daily living that is MOST important. ! Note to self: Are you listening Deb ? I am... thanks for the - nudge ~  wink wink Gratitude can take on a couple of forms. Internal and expressed. Internal gratitude, that is where we quietly OR with a BULL HORN .... remind ourselves of what things in our lives we are grateful for. Expressed is where you take the time to let someone else know of your gratitude. I am very grateful for my online friends who are reading this blog....   Even the 'friends' who might be lurker readers and I don't know who you are.     Do you DO this ?    Do you live with gratitude ? I'd love to hear about that.  :) Count Your Blessings Catchy little melody from 110 years ago.  :) Words - worth a read too ! With gratitude to........ Edwin O. Excell - Composer Johnson Oatman Jr. - Lyrics

 

Emergency Contact

Recently among a group of online bloggers we have
had a friend have their internet access disabled.
This friend is located outside of the USA, and so
there were challenges in finding out.... 
What happened to that friend.

In the event of a computer crash, or losing one's
net access or in the very worst of circumstances
an illness or passing it would be a very good idea
to have a blog category such as I have now created:

Emergency Contact

I am naming my brother, David Rothacker.
David lives in another state from me, but
in the event there was some trouble with myself
he would know about it and then
post a message here on my blog under this
thread to let my online friends know.

david.rothacker@gmail.com

I would suggest someone outside of your
immediate household.

You might also consider exchanging more
personal contact details with one other
person in your 'circle' of friends who
could then get the word out.

There are times you just can't know ahead
what is happening or going to happen and
being prepared is the best we can do for
the peace of mind to those who know
and care about US.

I have experienced the unexpected passing
of 2 online friends.    Thankfully other family
members were also on this group site and
we were not left wondering.....
Where are they.

Pat and Suzie Q - You are missed
but not forgotten.   :)

XO XO

Deb

PS:

Ummmmmmmm Davie ole buddy, ole pal bro..
Since we are hooked up blog to blog, I'm just
making this post without your OKAY.   LOL

LOVE YA
Debs

Hello ~Spirit~

Yesterday after reading Slades blog entry  Psychic Channels, Signals, and Noise
I was brainstorming to myself wondering how was my ego holding me back
from the communication that I wished to receive from my Spirit Guides.

Well in fact I was not only quietly brainstorming, I was also net searching
on the topic of ego to better define why it was that I felt it might be
my ego at work.

I had not intended to make a blog post of this, my surfing about and
thinking were more along the lines of personal discovery. 

Nothing profound or thundering came to my mind, so I just
mentally tucked it away in my 'think about later mind folder'. 

That was until I had an email this morning from Albert Foong -
The Urban Monk.

Albert's email was unrelated to this topic, but I surfed
over to his site and then stumbled upon this excellent
blog post he had made.

What your ego is and how to stop it from obscuring your
inner peace and unconditional love.

After reading both of their posts, I knew there was an
answer in there for me, yet I could not quite yet define it.
My first thought was.....'which of these 2 guys should
I email asking them to connect for me the topic of
my Spirit Guide search, along with ego.

For a moment I weighed out each one and in my mind
I selected Slade.    This was not an Enie Menie Miney Mo
choice, I just felt that Slade had a grasp on
Spirit Guides and I have not been a long time reader of
Albert's to know of his opinion on Spirit Guides.

Then from a quiet and very confident place I heard..........
"You can make your OWN blog post about this" !!!

Almost as instantly in a most condescending tone I heard.......
"Who are you to think you can write of such things."

I stopped for a quick second and had the vision of
this ego creature raised up on it's back hunches
front paws all flared up having said those last words
and repeating them again....
"Who are you to think you can write of such things."

The ego is not only a block or a wall,

it is an entire force field about me
attempting to shield out Spirit connection.

It will be this awareness that is the disengage
button to dismantle that force field. 

Note to Self:

Sit quietly

Glance over left shoulder to see ego in it's place

Push button to disengage force field.......

Hellooooooooooooooooooo ~Spirit~   

Ahhhhhhh Ha      INDEED !!!!!!!!!

      

I've linked to both Slade's

article Psychic Channels, Signals, and Noise


And also Albert's article......

What your ego is and how to stop it from obscuring your
inner peace and unconditional love



Both are very deserving of a read, maybe even a time or two.



THANKS GUYS !!!!!!!!!

'Witness'

This is dedicated to my 22 yr old son Vincent who is
proudly serving our country in the Air Force.
Vince is currently stationed in Korea. 

He is a huge Cav's fan, has been all his life.   Much of that
love is to be attributed to his Dad, my ex who has been
a life long Cav's fan.

LeBron James local Akron Ohio 'kid' - also age 22
is the leading player of the Cleveland Cavalier's.
LeBron is in a Nike ad that has his picture and
the word Witness to the side.....

After Cleveland beat the Detroit Pistons last night
to win the Eastern Basketball Conference Championship
I sent Vince this graphic I whipped up....
It's a picture I took of Vinny when he was home here in
Ohio recently on leave.

Immediately after the game I turned to my hubby Michael
and said......  I just know Vinny is going nuts...  I patted my
heart a few times thinking that he was SO excited it was
even hard for Vince to breathe.
Call it a Mother's knowing.   :)

Vince sent me this email a little bit after the game.....

Oh I was going absolutely crazy!!!!  I was jumping around all over the
place... And then I just laid on the ground for a few mintues trying to
soak it all in.  I was just goin on and on to my friend saying....
"THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED IN THE HISTORY OF THE
CAVS!!!!!!!... I've grew up waiting for this day as a little kid peeking
out of my bedroom door!!!!!"

GO CAV'S !!!!!!!

A WOW ~ 11:11 Story

Ohio State Baseball - Jacob Howell

The day the story ran last week, May 22, turned out to be one of the best days in recent memory for the Howell family, as Jacob's 21-year old sister Hannah was released from the hospital after a surgical procedure was done in Columbus after a brain aneurysm. Her doctor also cleared her to make the trip with her family to Ann Arbor to see her brother's final games in a Buckeye uniform.

In turn, Jacob dedicated his games to his sister once it was apparent she was able to attend. It turned out Hannah's presence was all the motivation Jacob or the team was going to need.

Howell already had four hits against Minnesota as the game creeped into extra innings. He wears No. 11 on his uniform, which is where things get interesting. Hannah's surgery was May 11, and she was released exactly 11 days later. Then in the 11th inning of the game against Minnesota, No. 11 stepped to the plate with the winning run in scoring position and at precisely 11:11 p.m., he delivered the game-winning hit to cap a 5-for-7 night and vault the Cinderella Buckeyes into the title game.

~ I think there might have been some 'Angels In The Outfield', and all
around this entire family too ~