~~ Empath ~~

Just a couple of days ago, I was web searching looking to connect with others
who are empaths.   That search led me to a site where a woman had questioned
why some people can meet someone and know everything about them in a matter
of minutes and how those particular people have total strangers confiding in them.

She went on to say that she considers herself a friendly person, but that did not
happen to her.

The person who was asking had also made mention of this to a group she was
with and one person’s response was, ‘some people are empaths’.    
Even though my original search mission was to hook up with others who are in
the know, I felt it important to share my experience and maybe offer some insight
about this all.   
I’ll share my comment response in just a moment,

but I first want to touch on where I first recalled hearing the word ~ empath.

Commander Deanna Troi. 
   

For you non Trek types, in the TV show, Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Troi served aboard the U.S.S. Enterprise as the ships counselor.

( Wow – TNG made it's debut September 26, 1987 )

Man, IF that show had delved into Troi’s early days perfecting her skills as an
empath

it certainly would have helped me process a part of myself that it has

taken me many years to understand and come to terms with.   
I’m still learning as I go though, and no doubt it was meant to unfold in
just this way.    Come to think of it, the beauty of a rose ~ IS ~ in it’s unfolding.

Okay………. here is the comment that I shared:

I am one of ~those~ people…An empath.

I came upon this site while doing a blog search on the word empath.
It would be wonderful to meet up with others and share stories back and forth.

First off, let me start by saying I have not always used the word empath to
define myself.  I did not even know that I was one.

More than 20 years ago I can recall going to ‘amusement parks’ with my then
husband and young children. (He’s now an EX - Thank God - lol )
It would happen in less than an hour of being there…. my head was pounding
and I felt dizzy.
I tried to deal with the discomfort for the sake of my children, but I always left
with a major full blown headache.
He would rant on the drive home that Mommy is just no fun and does not like
to have a good time.

The truth would not come to me until many years later…
it was not only amusement parks, it was any place I went where there was
a great many people.
The best way to describe it would be like looking at your TV set,
but hearing about 200 different audios at once. Well it’s not like I can actually
hear conversations, but I FEEL them.  I feel when others are distressed.

It was about 5 or 6 years ago that an online friend said to me…
‘You are an empath’. He said that because of an email that I sent him …
JUST when he needed to hear from a friend.

This happens quite often. I trust my inner knowing and IF I have someone on my
mind, it could be because of some good thing, or maybe some not so good thing
going on with them.
And…… yes, people stop me ALL the time even in places like a grocery store
and out will spill a life story.

Only very recently like in the past year or so have I been able to ‘bubble myself’
and shield out some of the constant stream of emotions from others.

Hmmmm that makes me think that maybe I should post about this on my own
blog in hopes that empaths would find me.

I hope you don’t mind the extent to which I have written here to explain about it.

One more thing, I think we ALL have the ability to ~tune~ in other people.
You are a radio, but are you only tuned in to your OWN channel ?
You can adjust the dial to tune in to others and develop those empathic skills.

But let me add… it is a blessing and at times a curse.

The gal responded to me:

      Thanks for your post. It was very interesting,
      especially the part about all of us having the ability to tune in other people.

I then commented back saying:

             I was just telling a friend this yesterday in an online conversation......

Recently I read a line by author Caroline Myss…to Paraphrase her she said…
~~ We ALL have abilities. Do not refer to them as gifts. They are skills.
Skills need practice to fully develop. ~~

I am in agreement with Myss…..
I mean, who would think they could pick up a bowling ball for the first time and
bowl a 300 game.

Who knows this about me?    Well up until sometime about a year ago
only a select few.   
I mean who would go about extending one’s hand and saying…..

Hi – my name is Deb and I’m an empath.

I would not be sitting here today and talking about this if it had not been for my
~Deb~utante post back in early April.   

Speaking of the learning part of it all, it was in June of 2006 that I removed
myself from an online Air Force Parents support site of which I was the
group moderator.    In explaining to the group my reasons for
leaving, I told them this:

THOSE of you who know me WELL know that God has blessed me with a GIFT.
I call that 'gift' empathy.

An ACTUAL ABILITY to FEEL the emotions of other people.  But with this gift comes......
a personal weight of sorts.
I take in so much and at times I am mentally and even physically
BOMBARDED by emotions.

Even to the point that my own mental health is at risk.

My best friend tells me I look tired all the time....
my Mom and Dad are worried to no end and keep asking
ME IF I am okay. 'You look so tired'.

I am being TRUE to ~ME~ and myself in this decision.

Once I came to this decision....... I have not asked God for prayers for myself in this,
but I have asked him for prayers for all of you... !!!!    FOR your understanding.

A VERY long time ago, when I was a teen deciding what to DO with my life...
I choose not to go on to higher education. At the time I thought, "nothing I will ever
do can change the world."

I've learned in the past 11 or 12 years how VERY wrong I was in stating that.....

I've learned I have the ~ability~ to change the world EVERY single day...
Maybe a smile to someone, or a cheerful word... EVERYONE of us has that ability. !!!!!!!!

All I can say is that IF something of me has touched your heart and life then you
need to bring that ~spirit~ out into the world and SHOW that ~spirit~ to others.....

Love
Deb

That was my goodbye post and after receiving great support,

and also having a few select folks email me privately saying I just could not leave,
I dropped off the site completely.    Choosing to put my needs first.   

I will have to say that not so many people questioned me on exactly WHAT an
empath was….hmmmm maybe they are Star Trek fans too.   LOL    
Or maybe they felt it’s one of those taboo type subjects that you just don’t
want to even bring up, certainly not on a group site, and maybe not even in
a private email.

It was since that time in June of last year that I have come to a new
understanding, thanks to Caroline Myss, that being an empath is a skill.   
I have also come to know how to ground and shield myself so I can function
as an empath without having to just totally close down. 
I knew shutting down would be very wrong.    Something like cutting off my
arm because I had a hang nail.    The shielding and grounding I’m still
learning how to work with that.
Stayed ~tuned~ I feel another blog topic coming about shielding and grounding.

No doubt some of you have written on this subject already, and please do link a
comment back to your site if you have.

I also want to share that 6 months later, I was able to sign back on the group,
but I did not take back the moderator duties.    This way, being a member of the
group I can pull back in times when I can not always keep the emotions
from crushing me.

So if you are an EMpath, let’s talk about it.  Here would be great,
but if you are not so comfortable sharing publicly, please do email me.
afmomdeb@gmail.com

IF you have Googled your way here…   I’ve been looking for you too.    Wink  ;)

If you know someone in your life who seems to have this kind of ability to
KNOW  YOU or read you, reach out to them like my friend did and say…..   
“You are an empath”.   Then point them to this post.   :))))))

In ending …. my ~gratitude~ to Slade in an email yesterday he said this …
You are so "receptive" -- you pick up -- you're a receiver for sure.



Philco Cathedral Radio ~ 1931